“If every human was perfect, would we still need God in our lives?” –Ani Fatayati Illiyuni-

 

Totality. Such a kind of really great-push for me, which is always bring me to the success that is really often unpredicted to be reached by me in the end of my hard-fight. It is a must to remind me again that there is no person who could reach their dreams and hopes by finishing any project without totality. I used to get really enjoyed the whole process of making my way reaching one by one of my dreams, which are I have written on the paper and then I have posted it on my room’s wall, until that lots of my friends at school had called me “a freak” of studying and studying the school subjects.
Actually, I’m still confused and feel quite disturbed of that “freak” sight of me in my friends’ eyes. During in my Senior High School, I have never get the 1st rank at my class. Not only that my ex-classmates were very smart and diligent, but also it is because I’m seriously not “a freak” such that thing when I’m studying. In my opinion, nerd and geek (or kind of “freak”) is a person who spend his / her life completely for reading and learning lots of books, especially the book of school subjects, to be concentrate with his / her studies at school even at the university without trying to socialize with his / her surrounding in the society and never  think of doing any fun stuff like the others’ do. But, don’t they realize that I always trying as I can to fulfill what they need from me as a good friend? Because, their honest smiles in every time we meet each other are much calming my heart more than lots of perfect score I have got in my exams during the unhappy time of me because lots of friends leave me and do not want to have a talk with me anymore, since they knew that I had many complete notes of school subjects and I tried to study a lot at home every day.

 

Lots of the same painful opinions from many friends around me, have made me decrease my desire of telling people what I had thinking in my mind for many chances. I used to think that there were only very few good friends who were really want to listen my opinions sincerely. Because, I never want to loss my friends and feel very lonely in this world. So, I started to be quiet more than before and let my friends to finish their own discussions without having participate in my surrounding’s activities. Totality is still the first priority for me, as best as I can, but it becomes more and more reduced since I have started to weaken it so my friends will not think that I am just reading, learning, and finishing the homework of school subjects during at home, because I am actually an ordinary girl who have a beautiful life everywhere I am. But, fortunately, that bad habit (including the bad feeling) had jailed my spirit and my creativity, only until I looked “My Dreams” on my room’s wall again and I just realized that I need to study and pray a lot to be the student of Faculty of Economy in The University of Indonesia.

 

Since I was a kid, my lovely Mother has taught me to do anything as best as I can. Because, time is too precious to be wasted worthlessly since we realize that it will not be turned back to fix our mistakes in the past, although lots of mistakes are very natural to be done by human. I also love to be brave and burn my spirit to learn something new with all of the people I meet in the surrounding in anywhere I am. Never give up until my tasks are totally finished well, is one of my character that I really thank God for having it. Because, it is the most important fuel to burn my spirit so all of my tasks could be totally finished well on time. Many people around me who has a same fuel with me, which is a belief and faith that we have a God who is more and more big than our problems, who is the Almighty Creator all over the universe, so we do not have to be afraid and hesitate to do all of our responsibility as long as we have a commitment to work hard and pray a lot.

This day, 4th August 2012, will be the right time to throw away all of the thing that could be the obstacles on my way to the success in the world and hereafter, which is all of the thing I hate about myself. Then I have to have a commitment to keep all of the thing I love about myself as the fuel to burn my spirit to be the capable and dedicated student of The Faculty of Economy in University of Indonesia.